Belt Buckles Could Never be so Misleading
by balanced insanity
Summary: Draco loves Harry, Harry loves someone else...Draco needs to make Harry jealous and he knows exactly who to use...mwahaha
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello, all! This is my first ever fan fiction, so I am very willing to take any criticism… if you give me flames; I probably will just laugh, because I'm a strange person. Anyways, if you think this chapter is a pile of shit, then I won't continue the story (I have plenty more in my head) and if you like it, that's good because I already wrote the next three chapters! big smile Yes, I am a nerd. So please, please review I will be eternally grateful if you do…I'd like to thank my sister for being a super reviewer of my story! Sorry if this is a short chapter, I wanted to leave it off at a semi-cliffhanger type thing…

Disclaimer: No, sadly I do not own Harry Potter; I just mess with J.K's amazing characters.

Chapter one: I seem to be stuck, Potter

It was a chilly October day, moments before the bell, and there Draco was yet again- running late for his Transfiguration class. Had he been paying attention, he would have noticed another Gryffindor boy running, full speed in his direction. His eyes shot open in surprise just as he ran smack into another body. "Oomph!" Both boys fell onto the floor in a heap. As pain rolled over him, Draco wearily opened his eyes. "Gah!" he blustered, finding himself staring directly, in the eyes of the last person he would like to see when he was so clumsy. "Potter! Do watch where you're going, you stupid oaf!" Draco shouted.

Harry glared at him and sighed, "Draco, get off me."

_Oh crap... _Draco slowly realized their position and a look of horror came upon his pointed face. Yes, Draco Malfoy was straddling the 'Boy- Who- Lived'._ Oh god._ He had both his hands on either side of Saint Potter's head and he quickly pushed himself into a sitting position- much to his dismay, he still had one leg on either side of Har—_Potter's_ hips.

All their books lay scattered about the floor. Draco groaned and tried rolling off Potter but something was preventing him from doing so. He looked down and realized that his robe had managed to get caught on Harry's belt buckle. "Potter, it appears that I'm stuck." Draco muttered, turning to look at Harry.

"Well that's lovely." said Harry bitterly.

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Sitting up, Harry attempted to get his belt buckle free of the robe, but it was extremely stubborn and didn't appear to be going anywhere. Harry tried to stand up, but almost fell back over again, seeing as he was still attached to Malfoy, who was sitting down. This proved to be a difficult task, but he managed to keep his balance. Harry let out of sigh of frustration. "I just can't seem to undo this!"

"Here, let me do it Potter, you're obviously not competent enough for this 'task'." Draco sneered. He rose a bit so he was kneeling on the ground and started working at the tangle; he then came to an obvious conclusion. He started to unbuckle Harry's belt hastily. Doing so he happened to brush against Harry softly, causing Harry to make a strange strangled sound in his throat. Draco paused and looked up to see Harry breathing shakily. Draco smirked. "Alright there scar-head?" he asked softly.

The Gryffindor gulped but then managed his usual icy glare saved especially for Malfoy, and, on occasion, Snape. Their glaring contest was cut short, as Seamus Finnegan rounded the corner and stopped dead in his tracks. Harry and Draco whipped their heads around looking at the startled boy.

It then dawned on Harry what this must look like; alone in the corridor, Malfoy kneeling in front of Harry and his hands…_Oh my god. _"Seamus! This isn't what it looks like!" Harry blurted out. But Seamus turned on his heel and stalked away angrily. "Damn." Harry whispered.

Harry then realized that he no longer felt the warmth of another body present and saw that Draco, too, was stalking down the corridor quickly; obviously Malfoy had managed to free them without him noticing. Harry quickly buckled his belt, grabbed his books, and rushed down the hallway. He could only imagine how late he was for class.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry it took me long to update…I just started school and I'm busy with Marching Band so, I apologize if my updates aren't weekly. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter two: Stares, Glares, and Plotting

Draco entered the chilly Potions class and sat next to his friend Blaise Zambini rather reluctantly, for a smug looking Pansy Parkinson was on his other side. The doors banged open and Snape bustled into the classroom, robes billowing, looking particularly menacing today. The class was then assigned to brew a light-hearted potion, causing many students to feel extremely giddy and their common sense slip away. While adding knotgrass to his potion, Draco glanced around the room. To his surprise, he saw that Potter was sitting next to Seamus rather than Granger and the Weasel. As he continued to gaze-not gaze, stare-_GLARE_ that's it, glare, at Potter, he noticed that he seemed to be trying to reason with the boy. Harry's eyes were reproachful and startlingly green. Draco found himself almost lost in them and had an urge to use that horrible pick up line about needing a map when you're lost in someone's eyes and started laughing at his own stupidity of finding Potter's eyes beautiful and returned to his potion.

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Harry was sitting next to a distraught looking Seamus who hadn't managed to get his potion the correctly indicated lilac color. It seemed to be bright turquoise instead. Harry turned away from Seamus and his eyes fell on Malfoy who was indeed, _smiling._ Not smirking like his usual prissy self, but down-right smiling.

_Wow._ Thought Harry, _This potion must really be getting to my head if I'm finding Malfoy's smile…entrancing…intoxicating…beautiful, charming, and wonderful. Feeling like I just want to kiss those delicate pink lips, to feel that smile on my own mouth… _

"Potter."

_Shit_

"What in Merlin's name are you doing?" drawled Draco.

"Erm." Harry looked around. He had not remembered leaving his seat but he found himself in Malfoy's presence, no more than a foot away from him, leaning in. Harry's senses finally started kicking in and he straightened up, backing away.

"Well, erm, if you must know I was- um- well I was…" Harry ran his fingers through his hair glancing around the room for support and then met Draco's eyes. This did give him an idea though.

"I was looking for my eye contact…I dropped it."

"Potter, you're wearing glasses."

_Wow. That was stupid. Nice move retard. _

"Yes…yes I am. Because, I knew with one blind eye I would never find my eye contact so I had to put on my glasses, isn't that obvious?"

Malfoy started at him. "If you say so."

Before Harry could reply the bell rang for their next lesson. He went back to his table and packed his school bag and then followed Ron and Hermione out of the dungeons.

"Harry, what were you doing over at Malfoy's table?" asked Ron shooting Harry a suspicious look"

"You heard me, I was looking for my eye contact." said Harry, quite annoyed that Ron was interrogating him.

"You don't wear contacts, Harry." said Hermione

"Yes I do."

"No you don't"

"Well, if you think I don't then I guess you don't know me very well then!" yelled Harry and he stormed off.

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Later that day Harry was sitting across from Ron and Hermione in the Great Hall eating dinner.

"Oh, I don't believe it!" Harry exclaimed suddenly, causing both Ron and Hermione to jump. "I got Malfoy's Transfiguration book instead of my own! We must have picked up each others book by mistake when we bumped into each other!"

"_Bumped,_ is an understatement, mate," Ron joked, and started laughing at the story Harry had told them earlier.

"Oh don't worry, Harry; I'm sure you can switch books with Malfoy soon." Hermione stated.

This didn't make Harry feel much better though. He wasn't worried about getting his book back- he was sure he would be able to- oh no, he was afraid of what Malfoy might find in the doodles that covered his book.

A/N : Sorry if my grammar is really bad this chapter-my sister didn't beta it for me, so I just kind of checked it myself…hope you like it anyways—Review please!!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Jealousy and Odd Occurrences

A/N: Yes, I know some of you guys were confused in the last chapter-but hopefully now you will all understand. Again, I apologize for all my insane grammatical errors…wow I just spelled grammatical wrong while typing this- oh the irony- but my sister is slacking in her job as a beta…so…yes. Reviews are greatly appreciated!

"I just don't get it, Harry." stated Seamus. He and Harry were having a discussion that evening in the thankfully, empty boy's dormitory. "That look in your face when you walked over to Malfoy…it was so, sincere; like, full of want, lust, maybe love even. And don't give me that crap about eye contacts, Harry. I know you don't wear them."

"Seamus, listen to me. The potion we were making was getting to my head. I really don't remember what I was doing…I suppose the fumes just got to me. Don't worry. I love you okay?"

"Alright Harry I forgive you, I love you too." Seamus cupped his hand around Harry's chin lifting his head upwards and caught his lips with his own. He pulled away gingerly. "Just don't ever look at another bloke that way again, you hear me?"

Harry wrapped his arms around Seamus and laid his head on Seamus' shoulder. He was confused. Why had he completely disregarded Seamus and walked over to Malfoy when the potion had hit him full force. He loved Seamus didn't he? He had liked Draco last year, there was that minor obsession and having house elves stalk him…but now Harry had Seamus and was quite happy with that arrangement. His thoughts were broken off when Ron and Hermione walked into to the dormitory.

"Oh god, we've walked in on the love birds…again. What does that make this Hermione, third time this week?" asked Ron, a bemused expression on his face.

Harry pulled away from Seamus and looked at Ron and Hermione suspiciously. "What are you two doing up here, anyway?" he asked.

Hermione turned pink and started muttering something about searching for a book, but Ron declared, not meeting Harry's eyes, mind you, "We were looking for you…it's nearly time to go down to the Quidditch pitch. Though shouldn't you remember that mate? You being the captain and scheduling it yourself?"

"Oh right." said Harry, walking towards his trunk to get his Firebolt. "I forgot."

"Yes, well, I hope you at least remembered to finish your Transfiguration essay," snapped Hermione, "seeing as it is due tomorrow."

"Damn." sighed Harry. He really needed to concentrate on homework and less on his boyfriend Seamus, this was getting ridiculous. This was his second missed homework this week. "Oh well, I'll do it tomorrow morning. Let's go down to the pitch."

So the infamous trio with their new Irish addition headed down into the cold night air.

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Draco walked down the corridors like he owned the place, which naturally in his opinion, he did. Lumbering in his wake were Crabbe and Goyle, also following were Blaise and Pansy. The group of Slytherins made their way down to their Transfiguration class and opened their bags to retrieve their books. When he opened his book, he was surprised to see many doodles covering it. This couldn't be his book, surely not. He looked at the cover and written on the book was: This belongs to Harry Potter-Finnegan. _Finnegan? What? Am I to believe that Harry swings the other way, no less with that strange Irish Gryffindor? What was the world coming to?_ Draco turned through the book and the pages were covered with: Seamus, Seamus Finnegan, Mr. Harry Finnegan, Mr. Harry Potter-Finnegan and all the like surrounded in stupid hearts. Seeing this Draco let out a snort but couldn't ignore that feeling of… jealousy? No it couldn't be. _Why would I, Draco Malfoy, the sexiest person in all of Hogwarts be jealous of "The-bloody-boy-who-refused-to-snuff-it's" revolting relationship with a stupid leprechaun! I probably just had too much to eat, or the pumpkin juice was spiked, yes that must be it._ Draco pondered over the situation. He couldn't help wondering why Harry hadn't chosen him over that stupid Seamus. _Oh…it probably has something to do with the fact that I make sure his life is a living hell and torture him and his friends every chance I could manage for the last six years. Or, he's just afraid of commitment. _"Draco! Pst!" Draco pulled himself away from his dreams-er-thoughts-observations of Potter to see that the entire class was staring at him as was Professor McGonagall, apparently looking for an answer. "Um…" he stammered thinking for one, "seven?" Needless to say, seven wasn't the answer and he got a stern talking to for not paying attention. Ignoring his lecture he looked back at the book and frowned slightly as his silver eyes rested on doodles on the back cover that seemed to be scratched out. Brow furrowed he deciphered them and saw that they read bearings of 'Mr. Harry Potter- Malfoy, Draco is sexy, DM all in those same ridiculous hearts._ No. Absolute. Fucking.Way! Draco Malfoy, the sex god of all of Hogwarts was not going to be placed second to that Finnegan. He could not stand for this! He was obviously better looking than that blundering fool! _Thus, he began to plot ways to break Harry and Seamus up. Not that it really mattered or anything, he just couldn't be second best in Potter's eyes. Then he was struck by a brilliant thought. Jealousy. He'd make the stupid Pot-head jealous! And he knew exactly who to use as bait.

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It was downright pouring the next day as the students rushed from the Herbology Greenhouses to the safe, dry Great Hall for lunch. As the famous Gryffindor trio sauntered up to their table, they were stopped by the one, and only, Draco Malfoy. "What do you want, Malfoy?" asked Harry, using his previous icy glare. "None of your business Potty, I only came over to compliment Weasl-I mean, Ron here on his hair." The silence that followed that statement was the loudest Draco had ever heard. He almost laughed aloud at the stupid look on Ron's face. He decided to go further just to piss off a certain dark-haired Gryffindor boy more. Draco bent down to Ron to whisper in his ear, though he made quite sure Harry could hear him. "You're hair looks great when it's wet", he said running his fingers through the freckled faced boy's hair, "sexy even." And he followed this by spanking the boy and quickly walking away. He had to stick his entire fist in his mouth to keep from laughing as he saw all three of them frozen there with looks of utmost horror on their faces. _Well, that was fun._

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Harry, Ron and Hermione stood rooted on the spot. Had Draco Malfoy just, flirted, not just flirted but spanked even, Ron Weasley? At that moment Hermione passed out cold so their lunch was spent waiting for her to recover in the Hospital wing.

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Draco was very happy with himself. He wasn't sure he had made the Golden boy jealous yet, but it was a start. Things might have to get serious with him and Weasel for Harry to end it with Seamus. Draco shuddered at the thought. Touching the boy was repulsive enough. He had finished his entire bottle of expensive hand wash just to make sure he wasn't infested with some strange poverty disease. Weasel may be a good use for bait but he highly doubted that he was boyfriend material. Well that didn't matter, seeing as Weasley was not going to be his boyfriend. More like a piece of meat, yes, a piece of meat on a string that he would lure Potter into his trap. Draco gave up on denying that he liked Harry. He was after all trying to destroy his relationship but not for the satisfaction of screwing up his life once more, no this was to get Potter to himself, none of these cahoots with Mr. Finnegan here. Draco was stopped by Blaise on his way to the Slytherin common room.

"What do you want, Zambini?" he sneered.

"What on earth were you doing feeling up that blood-traitor Weasel?" asked Blaise.

_Oh shit. He had noticed._

Draco hadn't thought about what his fellow Slytherins would do if they thought Draco was in some sort of relationship with that ugly Weasley boy and he didn't particularly care to find out either. He very much loved all his limbs attached thank you very much.

"Erm- I was…um…teaching him a lesson about insulting a Slytherin."

Blaise stared. "You spanked him."

Draco blinked, "Yes- well, that was part of the lesson obviously! I didn't have enough momentum for a punch so spanking him was the next best thing!"

"You looked like you were enjoying yourself." Blaise stated simply.

Draco sneered, "Yes well, I do love to see a Gryffindor loser in pain." He walked away with a smug look on his face, relieved that he had come up with such a good alibi. As for now, he had more plotting to do.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Not-so-Truthful-Confessions

Ron was in a very happy mood that next day. (Come on, wouldn't you be in a good mood if Draco Malfoy called you sexy?)

"What are you looking so cheery about, Ronald?" inquired Hermione, shooting him a suspicious glance.

"….I… had a bad bout of cheering-charms." stated Ron, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Ron, hurry up! We're going to be late for quidditch practice! Stop flirting with your girlfriend and let's get going!" shrieked Harry, who was in a strange-teenage-angst-jealous mood and had no idea why…wink wink

"Harry, where's Seamus, I thought you two were inseparable?" questioned Hermione.

_Damn this girl was annoying! What was with all the questions?_

"He's sleeping in…he got kind of…tuckered out last night." answered Harry quietly, shifting his eyes to the floor and finding a burn mark extremely interesting.

"Oh…OH! OH MY GOSH HARRY! DON'T SHARE THAT INFORMATION WITH US! WE DON'T NEED TO HEAR THAT!" shrieked Hermione, causing some first years to jump in fright as they went down the stairs out onto the field.

"Hey, you asked. I just said he was tired, it's your fault that you have a dirty mind". replied Harry, raising his arms in defense.

"Huh?" said Ron suddenly; finally paying attention for the first time. His mind was drifting to…other thoughts, sexy, blond, thoughts.

"Harry has just informed us of his…nighttime habits with Seamus."

"Oh…" said Ron, still clearly, comprehending. "Ohhhhh…EW. Harry you manwhore."

"What's this I hear, Potter?" came a drawling voice.

_God damn it of course he has to come now._

"Potter's a manwhore? Oh please. Who on earth would ever want to shag…_that?_" asked Draco, sounded repulsed. _OMG OMG OMG I WOULD!_

"Oh, leave him alone Draco, you're so…" Ron started to look a bit glazed in the eyes, "alluring…magnificent…really- OUCH!"

Harry had just punched Ron in the stomach; he was being gay, literally. Hermione just glared daggers at Ron and Draco clearly hating both of them at the moment.

"What do you want Malfoy?" snarled Harry, as I said before, he was pissed; don't mess with the Boy-Who-Lived when he's pissed. "Need to sexually harass Ron again?"

Draco suddenly tripped over his own feet. "Wha- oh. No. I'm here to get my Transfiguration book, back. I believe you have mine, and I, yours.

"Oh." said Harry stupidly. "Fine." He proceeded to open his bag, bending over in the process, and retrieving Draco's book. He had the strange feeling of being watched.

_DAMN! WHAT A NICE ASS! _Thought Draco, so he liked to admire nice things, what was wrong with that?

"Uhm…" Harry coughed, "Draco…"

Draco snapped out of it in time to see Harry shoving the book into his hands. "Oh. Thanks. Here's yours…I found it a bit…_interesting._" drawled Draco, winking.

"Oh! Are you wearing contacts! I have that twitching problem in my eye too if I ever wear them!" exclaimed Harry suddenly, man this kid was retarded.

"No, Potter I am not twitching, I _winked _at you, Harry."

"Well, so-rry. But it looked like you were twitching…Why were you 'winking' any-HEY!"

"What?"

"You called me Harry!"

Draco really did twitch this time. "No I didn't"

"Yes, you did. I heard you, didn't you hear him Ron?" asked Harry. But Ron wasn't any help. He was staring into space again, drooling. Harry shuddered and turned back to Draco, but the Slytherin had already left.

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_SHIT! SHIT SHIT SHIT! MOTHERFUCKING SHIT! OH MY GOD I BLEW IT! I TOTALLY MESSED EVERYTHING UP; I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF!_ ranted Draco, the drama queen. He had dragged himself all the way up to the Astronomy tower in a blind rage and had walked into a…"busy" couple. _How repulsive._ Well, if Draco was going to commit suicide he wasn't going to do so in the presence of some snogging Hufflepuffs. "OI! YOU! GET OUT OF HERE, SICKOS! GET A ROOM!

The brunette boy unglued his face from his companions to glare at the blond that had intruded in his…social activities.

"Do you mind? We did have a room until you came in ferret-boy."

_Wait a minute…I've seen this person before…but I thought he was… _"DEAD! YOU- YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD AREN'T YOU?"

The boy smiled. "No, you're thinking of that bloke Cedric Diggory, aren't you? I'm Robert Patterson."

"Oh. Well, you look a lot alike. Anyway, it's nice chatting with you and all but I'm about to be overly dramatic so do you mind leaving?"

"Fine. Come on, Christina." He said, dragging his girlfriend out the door.

"Finally…some peace and quiet." Draco walked up to the nearest window and stood on the edge. He smelt the cold night air and the wind whipped at his face. Yes, this was how he was going to go; a nice, graceful fall. He glanced down into the dark sky and saw the grass at the bottom. _Wow. That's a long fall._ He was starting to loose his nerve. Just then, the infamous trio walked in.

"-but house elves really don't have spare time to do things like that Ron, why can't you understand? I mean, yes it would be possible to- MALFOY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" shrieked Hermione.

Draco whipped around, eyes bulging, "I-well, I was, uhm…" he cleared his throat and straightened up. He had just had a stroke- OF BRILLIANCE! "I have a confession to make."

Harry blinked. "We're waiting."

Draco took a great breath, this would be horrible for his reputation, but he definitely would make Potter jealous with this. Without warning he jumped from the window ledge and flung himself into Ron's arms wrapping him in a bear-hug. "The truth is I love you! I really do and I want you to be my boyfriend! Please!"

"Wow! Draco, I never knew you cared so much! Of course!" exclaimed Ron, rather excited.

"That's great Ralph, for a moment I thought you would reject me, come on, let's go."

"My name is Ron."

"…That's what I said."

And with that, Ron and Draco left the room together hand in hand.

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Harry opened his eyes slowly. He felt very warm and comfortable. He turned his head sideways and realized he was resting on a pillow. Startled, he jumped up when he saw that Hermione was on a bed next to him. He fumbled around for his glasses and put them on. Once he could see everything clearly he noticed that Hermione, too, was awake.

"Shit, Hermione, we're in the hospital wing, aren't we?" asked Harry groaning.

"Yes it seems so." sighed Hermione, heavily.

"I'll take a wild guess in assuming that we both fainted. So, that-that really did happen, then…Draco and Ron?"

"Oh please don't remind me, Harry." snapped Hermione.

Harry groaned and sunk back into his pillow. _I hate my life._

A/N: again, I apologize for the grammar mistakes, but I need a beta I suppose…

Sorry if it took me a while to update—again, when you're in marching band you really have no free time…I just updated because I had a fever and stayed home from school. Yes I know that a lot of you don't like the whole Ron/Draco- I hate it too! It was very hard for me to write myself…but I just keep telling myself…its in the plot for Harry and Draco to get together…I just gotta wait…

Thank you so much for the reviews they were greatly appreciated! I love reviews hint hint Hope you liked this chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

Draco was annoyed, oh so very annoyed. Yes, he was glad about making Potter jealous, but this new red-headed companion was very clingy. Draco found himself more jumpy and paranoid, for wherever he went, Weasley was sure to pop out from absolutely no where. It wasn't just Weasley's new annoying habit of sneaking up on Draco and causing him to drop his books, repeatedly. No, it was Ron's need to feel like a couple, publicly none the less. He was constantly trying to hold hands, sit on Draco's lap, hand feed him strawberries, and the only thing he wanted was private was random snog sessions in deserted corridors. But Draco would have none of this. He wanted Potter, not the Weasel; he'd have to break up with Ron soon.

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Harry was annoyed, oh so very annoyed. Sure, he was happy for Ron, for having a new, shudder, boyfriend. He did miss his friend though. Ron was always running off to find Draco and constantly left Harry alone with Hermione. Normally, Harry wouldn't mind spending time with Hermione, though lately she seemed outraged at the fact that Ron had picked Draco over herself and went ranting off about it for hours at a time. Why didn't Harry tell her to shut the fuck up and run off to his boy toy Seamus you ask? Because Seamus was oddly distant lately. There were hours throughout the entire day where Harry couldn't find his Irish gay- wad. This did trouble him. He was also troubled by the fact that he would frequently run into Draco and Ron all over the place, it was like they planned to catch Harry off guard.

Harry had to admit he was finding these study sessions with Hermione boring. At this present one, he had long since stopped paying attention to Hermione's ranting and started daydreaming…

FLASH- Pale hands running down Harry's heated torso-FLASH- lips gently caressing his own passionately- FLASH- hot kisses being planted down Harry's neck to his collar bone and up again.

"Wow. Kinky." Muttered Harry to no one in particular, but unfortunately Hermione had heard him.

"What did you say, Harry?"

Harry cleared his throat. "Oh, um, I said…I got my hand…inky. I'm going to go wash it off…be back later."

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"Pleeeeaaassseeee Drakey, no ones looking. I just want a kiss goodbye before class…" pleaded Ron, looking disdainfully at his, _Drakey-Poo._

"Sh! Rick, I don't want anyone to see us, it's a secret relationship remember?" said Draco in an annoyed tone, putting his hand over Ron's mouth when Ron opened it to protest.

Ron easily swatted his hand away. "No one will see. Look, I er…uhm…'borrowed' Harry's Marauder's Map. You can see if anyone is coming, and look no one is…well except Harry…darn."

Draco's ears perked up. "Harry's coming? Now?" he grabbed the map and saw that indeed, Harry was conveniently alone and about to round the corner. Draco stuffed the map out of site and shoved Ron against the wall, in plain view of anyone who would be coming down the corridor…the filthy hypocrite.

Ron looked startled. "Whoa, feisty one, aren't you?"

"Shut up." Draco then crashed his lips down on Ron's, fiercely making out with the boy. Ron's eyes, he noticed, were closed. He glanced towards the end of the corridor just in time to see Harry round it. Draco couldn't help it; he started laughing…which is really difficult for one to do during a make out session. Well, it was more of a snort, but needless to say this startled Ron enough to make him break away.

"What the hell was that? Oh! Harry, I didn't realize you were here." Ron looked very pleased, though he was the only one who did. Both Draco and Harry looked equally sick.

"Oh, sorry I didn't mean to intrude…I'm just on my way to the bathroom. Um, see you in class I guess." said Harry, looking embarrassed.

"That's alright, Uh, Ross, I'll be right back…I'm going to use the bathroom too. There's no need to come!" he added hastily, for Ron showed signs of following. "Why don't you just go and save me a seat okay?"

"But, we don't sit together…and you're not in my next class anyway. And Draco, my name's Ron."

"Oh, right. I know. Well, see you around." Draco hurried down the corridor, holding his stomach, a grimace planted on his face. Harry walked behind him, not very keen for conversation with the blond.

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When Harry opened the bathroom door, he figured Draco was already in a stall already, though he was surprised to hear retching from the other side of the door.

"Uh, Malfoy…are you alright?"

Silence…then a cough. "Yes, I'm quite alright, Potter. Thank you for your concern."

"Wow. That's amazing."

"What's so bloody amazing, Potter?"

"I can even _hear_ you sneer when you talk."

Malfoy fought not to laugh, but gave in, his stomach couldn't exactly take pressure at the moment.

"Wow. You're laughing. I didn't think that was possible."

"What, am I not allowed to laugh or something?"

"No, that's fine. I just thought you were generally a bitter person."

"I am."

"Right. Well, my theory proves true. So anyway, why are you throwing up in there?"

"Because, Pot-head, your best buddy there is repulsive."

_Shit. That was a reaaaalllllyyyy smart move._

…..A dramatic pause…..

"Malfoy? Are you aware that you are indeed, dating Ron? You were, after all, just making out with him in the hallway."

WAIT FOR IT FOLKS! ANOTHER STROKE OF BRILLIANCE!

"I did? Wait, what? Hold on…I'm…I'm disoriented, where am I?" Draco opened the stall and walked out, spotting Harry. "Oh, I might just faint. I do hope some one catches me."

And so then Draco "fainted", and Harry "caught" him. Actually it was more like Draco fell on top of Harry. And again, they were in a very strange predicament. Oh, big words. Watch out. And this is when Seamus "walked in"…"alone". That statement would have been true if Seamus hadn't ran in, holding hands with Dean. Oh, snap.

A/N: Yes, I do apologize for the shitty quality of this chapter. I promise things will indeed get better in the next chapter, I just tried to make this funny…but its three in the morning and I feel my brain losing cells. Well, I hope you guys liked it anyway…if anyone has ideas for my story, I'm willing to hear them out, I can't guarantee that I'll use them, but I feel the need for a more complex plot line. WOO! Alrighty, so…REVIEWS MAKE ME EXTREMLEY HAPPY! AND I THANK ALL OF YOU WHO DID REVIEW! (I just hope you'll continue to read this after this pile of crap, I mean…chapter).


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Wow. Thanks soooo much for reviewing! It really raised my ego haha…A special thanks to: **Rent-serenity- **to being an awesome first reviewer (I never got to thank you for that) and for continuing to review my story-each chapter! You're awesome!

And. Also to: **Crick118**: For making me crack up when I read you're reviews!

Alright So. I re-read this chapter, and I apologize in advance, because, sadly, it isn't as funny as my others. I don't necessarily think its bad—but fear not! I have many funny scenes in my head that shall go on in the next chapters…just gotta put up with my updates, that are spaced out because of a dreadful thing called school, and along with it the responsibility of Marching Band. BUT. Next weekend is a three day weekend, SO…on Monday while all the Jewish kids are fasting (no offense meant here) I can certainly write chapter seven! Wooo! If I don't, I deserve flames…Well here ya go Chapter 6 (I realized that I never gave Chapter Five a title, so here it is: Chapter Five: Disoriented Dracos make me very happy).

Chapter Six: A Second Chance

There was a very, uncomfortable moment when all four boys simply stared at each other in either pure astonishment, jealousy, anger…pretty much your average teenage angst. Dean, being the smart one of the group was the first to react. The smile vanished from his mouth and he dropped Seamus' hand and instead, placed it on his neck, scratching himself awkwardly, avoiding everyone's eye contact.

Harry simply glared up at Seamus from the floor, with Draco still on top of him; he couldn't easily rise from the ground.

Draco looked surprised, but didn't feeling like moving thank you very much. Come on! He was sitting in _the_ Harry Potter's lap! And like he said before, he was delusional, so he couldn't move.

Seamus side stepped away from Dean and glowered at Harry.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?" he demanded, eyes narrowed.

"I think I should ask the same thing, Finnegan." replied Harry coolly. He glanced at Draco and coughed. "Um, Draco…want to move?"

"No."

Harry shook his head. That was certainly not the answer he had been expecting. He tried again.

"Er…Draco…Seamus might just kill you if you don't move…so…If I were you, I'd move."

"Do _you_ _want_ me to move, Potter?"

This defiantly caught Harry off guard. He racked his brain for some snide remark, but oddly enough, none came. The only thing swimming through his head was the answer… 'No'. This deeply troubled him. Why didn't he want Draco…wait, what? Draco? He'd called him Draco twice in the last couple minutes! What was going on here? In truth…Harry was very comforted by having Draco in his arms…whenever he held Seamus, he was cold, and it took a while for Harry to get used to him, but Draco, despite his pale skin and constantly being in the dungeons, was intriguingly, warm. He was slightly slimmer than Harry, more delicate and Harry found himself being attracted. His thoughts from the previous year flooded him, when he had wanted nothing more to share a relationship with the boy, ok, maybe just shag him to death…but he wondered how much he'd changed, he must have had done so, after all…he was…shudder…dating his best, GRYFFINDOR, friend. He glanced over at Draco, he was leaning in…Harry closed his eyes and slanted forward…and then…

SMACK.

"I asked you a question, Potter, now, where is my answer?" Draco sneered.

"Oh fuck Draco, get off me!" Harry shoved Draco off his lap and stood up looking at Seamus.

"Alright Seamus, let's get one thing straight here. I'm hoping the only reason you and Dean were just running in here holding hands was because you were playing hopscotch…if that's not the reason, which I doubt it is… actually I would be rather frightened if it was…then tell me what is!" Whoa. Harry was fucking pissed.

Seamus looked at Harry for a while, and Harry could actually see a light go on in the attic.

"Well, Harry dear you were on the right track there, well not really. You see…I broke my…um…favorite teapot and was attempting to glue it back together. Then Dean walked over and tried to help me…but then our hands got stuck together so we came to the bathroom to wash it off, and we were laughing because of the predicament we were in. Though, in our shock of seeing you and that slut in such a situation, our hands became unglued." Seamus finished his alibi, looking smug.

"I resent that. I am not a slut. I can't help it if people find me infectious." voiced Draco.

Harry blinked. "Oh, please. Do you honestly expect me to believe that? I've seen those looks you too have been giving each other, Seamus. I've noticed you running off, I just didn't say anything. Maybe if I had, this wouldn't have to end so badly."

Seamus looked shocked. "End?"

Harry dropped his eyes to the ground and took a deep breath. His fought to control his voice. "Seamus. It's over."

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Break it down…it's emo Harry time!

Harry sat on his four poster bed. His knees brought up under his chin, arms wrapping around his legs, in attempt to protect himself from the pain flowing from his throat to his stomach. He felt miserable and wanted the hurt to go away. He pulled off his glasses and lay down. It was then that he remembered he had just shared an incredible night with Seamus here much too recently ago. He heaved a sigh and stood up again, replacing his glasses on his the bridge of his nose. Alright, so no sleeping…he desperately wanted to do something…spontaneous…out of impulse. He glanced at his Firebolt, maybe go for a ride? But no, even the Quidditch pitch reminded him of Seamus. He needed to go to unknown territory. Somewhere that didn't involve Seamus at all. And then it hit him…there was a place he could go, someone to talk to…and he took off.

Harry shrugged his cloak closer to his body; it really was cold down here in the dungeons. No wonder he never came down here. He jumped the last three stairs and found the correct passage that would lead him to the entrance of the Slytherin common room. Unfortunately, when he reached the entrance he realized he had absolutely no idea how to get into it. He thought back to his second year and tried to remember the password. "Pure-blood?" he questioned. The wall remained unrevealing. Of course he expected as much, the password would have changed by now. Harry glared at the wall. "_Open up." _He hissed…no really…he did. He tried speaking in Parseltongue but even that wouldn't work.

"Sexy." said a voice behind Harry.

Harry whipped around and saw that Draco was casually leaning against the wall, smirking at him. He took a deep breath, this was probably the most stupid thing he'd ever done, but he had to try. He walked up to Draco and looked him right in the eye.

"Of course, if I was looking for me, I would have gone to the library, I don't really tend to hang around here that often." said Draco, absent-mindedly looking at his nails. "I remember the first time you spoke Parseltongue…" said Draco talking into the silence, "it sounds so much better now. Been practicing? Talking to your little snake friends?"

"No." replied Harry, thinking that maybe this wasn't a good idea in the first place. "How did you know I was looking for you?"

"I know everything."

Harry snorted. "Oh right, I'm sure, the great all-knowing Malfoy!"

Malfoy grinned, yes, that amazing grin that had made Harry stare in shock before and felt himself ooze to jelly.

"Well…" said Malfoy playfully, "I know that you came down here to find me, I'll admit I'm not quite sure why, but hopefully I will find out."

"Right. Well, about that…" Harry cut in, but Draco silenced him putting his hand up.

"I also know" he carried on, "that you never answered my previous question. You didn't want me to move, I could tell. AND. I know that you're not as sad about breaking things off with Finnegan as you think you are."

Harry stared. The boy had been dead-on. No one else could just figure things like that out about Harry like that before, well except Hermione but she was just smart like that. Abruptly, he stuck out his hand. "Yes."

Malfoy's smirk changed into a confused expression. "Yes what? Yes I was right…or…" he trailed off, looking at Harry suspiciously.

"Yes. You can help me here."

"What the hell, Potter? Have you been sniffing something of a flakey, crystalline nature? I never offered you any help. And I don't plan to either." said Draco, still looking completely confused, and…concerned. For Harry. That was certainly strange.

Harry grinned sheepishly. "No, Malfoy. Listen…on our first year on the train…you said, 'You'll soon find out that some wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there.' And, well, you were right. I made friends with the wrong sort." said Harry bitterly, thinking of Seamus. "Look, I'm coming to you because…I can tell you've changed. You're not the only one with all-knowing powers Malfoy. I need a new friend, someone different, someone I know I'll have to work hard for to gain trust, for a true friendship to form. I like a challenge."

Draco merely grinned, and took Harry's hand into a firm handshake. "Alright then, Boy- wonder. This should be interesting."

Harry muttered thanks and turned around to walk back up to the Gryffindor towers.

"Harry!"

Harry turned around. "Yes?"

"Call me Draco, like when you did before. I liked that."

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	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Yes, I posted a day early, but that's because I was extremely bored…and I felt like it. So…I feel like I'm losing my wittiness or something and that scares me. I have these funny plans and then when I write them…they're not as funny as they were inside my head…and that saddens me…so I apologize. Hopefully, I'll get my act together by the next chapter…but all the same, I hope you liked this chapter anyway. Thanks for the reviews

And **Crick118:-** can you just like, be my new best friend?-you're amazing!

Chapter Seven: STDS, Break-ups, and Sexy Arses

"I just don't understand Draco, why can't we kiss? I thought you liked it." whined Ron.

"Listen, it's not like I don't want to kiss you", _what a down- right lie, _"I can't. I fear that if I kiss you again, it might cause…_other things _to happen" (Draco's eyes twitched at these words) "…and, I can't do that to you."

"I'm still confused."

"Well, you would be."

"Why don't you want 'other stuff' to happen…I certainly wouldn't mind…" he trailed off looking at Draco hopefully.

Draco turned his head away from Ron, so he didn't see the look of disgust on his face. He had to dump this kid. It was just too much! The pain! The suffering! He took a deep breath, braving himself for another false confession. He was good at those.

"Ryan, listen. It's not that I don't like you; we just can't be together anymore. I care about you too much to hurt you."

Ron gritted his teeth. "My name is Ron."

Draco waved his hand, "Oh pish-posh."

"Alright…answer this then. How would having sex with me, hurt me?"

Draco bit his lip. He felt the wheels spinning in his head, there had to be something that would make Ron willingly _want _to leave him…but what? He scratched his head glancing around the room, there was a Potions book lying half-heartedly on a chair: Possible Potions: Aid those in need of care includes Spell damage potions…wait a minute…aid…

"I…I…well, this is really hard to say. I should really just come out with it. But, it's hard…"

"I'm listening, Draco. Go on."

"I…well. I…" Draco paused for a dramatic effect. "I have…AIDS."

Ron stared at him with furrowed eyebrows. "….What the hell is aids?"

_Oh, fuck. I thought he would know what it was. I barely know what it is, how am I supposed to explain it?_

"It's well, a disease. A…erm muggle disease. It's bad, deadly. So…we just have to stop. Now. Alright?"

Ron's shoulders slumped and he frowned, eyes downcast. He glanced back up at Draco. "You're sure then, this is it?"

Draco nodded sadly. (Well, not really sadly, but he was a good actor).

"Alright, well…it's been great being with you. So. I guess I'll just…see you around? Sorry this didn't turn out well, and I'm sorry that you have AIDS…did you need me to like, give blood or something?"

"Sorry Ron, you're not my type." said Draco smirking.

"Alright. Well. Bye."

Ron left, shoulders hunched, destined for the library. He was going to have to find out more about AIDS.

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As soon as Ron was out of sight, Draco ducked into a classroom and jumped in the air whooping. This was absolutely fan-fucking-tastic! No more Ron following him, now he could devote all his time to wooing, yes, wooing, Harry Potter than hiding from that stupid Gryffindor.

"Wow. Someone's happy."

Draco whipped around, his wand at the ready; and then relaxed visibly when he saw who it was. His left hand still clutched at his heart, his right arm slowly lowering his black wand.

"Shit, Potter! You don't just do that to someone! I could have had a heart attack!"

"Aw, that would have made me very sad. I would never have bonded with my new _friend, Drrraaaccoooo. _Ew, god…that was weird. Draco is such a fucked up name…you need a nick name!"

"Thanks Potter. No need to know what your parents were smoking when they named you _Haarrryyy." _He sneered"Wow. You're right, saying your name _is_ weird."

"Hmm…maybe I should just name you after some of your moves you just performed for me in that little happy dance?" Harry grinned evilly at Draco.

Draco visibly paled. "You saw…that?"

"Oh yes, very…posh of you, Draco." said Harry, waggling his eyebrows.

Draco glared at him. "This never leaves the room."

"Fine." said Harry, laughing at Draco's expression. "What are you so thrilled about, anyway?"

Draco glanced around the room, not meeting Harry's eyes. He brought his hand over his mouth. "Ijstfbrokpwifrn"

"Sorry, didn't catch that."

Draco sighed and lowered his hand. Still not meeting Harry's eyes he spoke, "I…um…just broke up with…Ron." he glanced up at Harry, curious to see his expression. He got even more nervous when he saw that he couldn't read Harry's face.

Harry looked at Draco, feeling…odd. He didn't know if he was happy, upset, annoyed…mostly he was just confused.

Draco bit his lip, and screwed up his face and tensed, ready for a full blown Potter attack. But none came.

"You-you did?"

Draco opened his one eye. When he saw that Harry didn't have his wand out, fist raised, or even look remotely angry, he relaxed. "Yes." he mumbled.

Suddenly Harry started bursting out laughing. He grabbed onto a desk for support, and then just fell down anyway, laughing down right hysterically. Draco looked at him in shock for a few minutes, but when Harry didn't stop laughing, Draco just joined in.

"What's so funny, Harry?" he asked breathlessly, holding his stomach in between fits of giggles. Oh yes, the Slytherin Ice Prince, was indeed, a giggler.

"That's what you were so happy about? I thought you loved him! You practically jumped into his arms when you first admitted it." Harry unexpectedly stopped laughing. "Wait…you _did_ like him… didn't you?"

"Well, erm. It's difficult to explain."

"I've got time."

Draco was panicking…he had to come up with another stroke of brilliance. "I'm- oh I'm delusional!" he shrieked throwing himself onto Harry.

Harry shoved Draco off him. "Oh cut the crap, Malfoy. You're not delusional. Now what's going on? You asked to date him for god's sake! Why would you date him if you didn't like him?"

"To make someone jealous."

"Who?"

"One of Ron's friends…"

"Oh…AWW! Draco, that's so adorably cute!"

Draco sniffed. "I am not cute."

"Yes, Draco that is cute, why didn't you just tell me?"

"That's hardly the thing you just tell your enemy of six years."

"Why not, I bet that person likes you too."

"You think so?" asked Draco, suddenly extremely hopeful.

"Yeah! In fact, I can ask her tomorrow morning."

"Wait- what?"

"Hermione! Draco, I could most certainly hook you two up, you'd be so sweet together."

"EW! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON, POTTER? I DO NOT WANT TO HOOK UP WITH GRANGER!"

Before Harry could reply, the classroom door burst open as no one other than Professor Snape walked in. Glaring, he snapped, "Potter! Malfoy! What are you yelling about? It is after hours; get back to your dormitories! Now! Detention on Saturday at eight o' clock- for both of you! And Potter, 15 points from Gryffindor for provoking Malfoy enough to yell. Now, GO!"

Harry opened his mouth to protest, but Draco grabbed Harry's forearm and led him out of the room. He didn't let go until they had reached the stairs near the Great Hall.

"Why did you stop me Draco? I could have taken him!" said Harry furiously.

"No you couldn't have. And you would have lost more points, anyway. So, really, I just saved your sexy arse."

"Oh hail my savoir, the amazing bouncing ferret…did you just call my arse sexy?"

"I did no such thing."

"Suuuuurrrrreeeee. I bet you didn't, _Drake._ See you tomorrow night, a fun-detention- filled evening with Snape." Harry climbed the stairs grinning, hearing Draco stalking away, muttering something about Bloody Gryffindors. Harry leaned over the rail, feeling reckless, and shouted, "If it makes you feel any better, Draco—you're arse is pretty sexy too!"

Draco whipped around staring at Harry in shock. "What? You put arsenic in my juice?"

Harry started laughing, and shouted back, "Yes! That's exactly what I said!" he turned back up the marble staircase, still laughing to himself.

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A/N again: (Yes, I kind of stole the AIDS thing…I got the idea of using STDS from NightFoxDawnLily's fan fic-Flaming for you. I just loved it, so I used it lol…also no offense is intended in the whole fact of using AIDS…just so everyone knows that…yeah—I apologize once again for my poor grammar…but you'll just have to accept that seeing as I have no beta).

Thanks again for the reviews, I really appreciate them! They make me write more! Hint Hint! I looovveee reviews…cough.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Wow. This is my looongggesstt chapter ever! I had a lot of insentive…I think it may absolutely my strangest one ever too. But it was very fun to write. THANK YOU TO ALL MY REVIEWS! THEY MAKE ME VERY HAPPY!

(Crick118: Would you mind terribly if I put your jell-o quote in my fanfiction, it could be very funny lol-it made me laugh, I spent like ten minutes trying to decipher it lol…I'm still confused to be quite honest, but I like it!)

Chapter Eight: Enlightening Detentions

Harry skipped into the common room that night, YES. He skipped. He was the fucking Boy-Who-Lived; he could skip if he wanted to, god damnit! Anyway, SKIPPING, he found Hermione and Ron in a single armchair by the fire.

"I know something you don't-WOAH! You guys look cozy!" said Harry, breaking off from his sing-song voice.

Ron and Hermione snapped out of their love gazing to look at Harry.

Hermione blushed, "Sorry, what did you say, Harry?"

"I said, I know something you don't know. Draco has a crush…oh la la!"

"Really?" questioned Ron, "that's surprising; I thought he wouldn't want to get involved with anyone."

"Well, I guess he does. Jeez, Ron you really got over him relatively quickly, didn't you?"

"Yes, Ron and I were just talking about that before you came in. We figured Ron was just infatuated; he gets very big-headed and doesn't think very clearly when people show affections towards him." stated Hermione, sounding like a book, but that was nothing new.

"Oh. Well, gee, that's spectacular, Ron. But back to my story, Draco has a crush!"

"Do tell, Harry!" said Hermione, looking interested.

"You."

"WHAT?"

"Yep. He practically told me so!"

"No!" shouted Ron, grabbing Hermione and bringing her into an embrace. "Mine!"

"Oh, Ronald please, of course Draco doesn't like me, Harry is just making that up to upset us."

"Hey! No I'm not!"

"Well, I won't take your word for it Harry. It's just too weird. And besides, I'm quite content here with Ron."

"Yeah, I can tell" muttered Harry.

"What did you say, mate?" questioned Ron.

"Um…nothing."

"Oh yeah, I have some Draco news too, Harry."

"Yeah?"

"Well, apparently" Ron glanced around for dramatic effect, or to see if anyone was listening in, either way it made Harry suspenseful, "Draco has this disease…its called… raids."

"What? That's not even a disease, Ron!" snapped Hermione.

"Huh? Yes it is! He told me so, that's why he broke up with me!"

"Ron, are you sure he didn't said, _AIDS_?"

"Ohhh….right. Yes that's what he said. So, either of you know what it is?"

"No. I haven't a clue." said Hermione, looking ashamed for not having an answer for once.

"Nope. Well, I'm going to sleep. I'll need rest for my detention tomorrow. Night."

Neither Ron nor Hermione paid him much attention as he left; they were pretty immersed with each other.

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Harry climbed the stairs to his dormitory and got into pajama bottoms, he pulled off his glasses as he sunk his head into his pillows thinking. Alright, he had lied. He knew exactly what AIDS was; this had just taken him as a shock. He didn't expect Draco to have a muggle disease. Wasn't he too snobby to associate with muggles, anyway? _Well, I'm going to be having detention with him tomorrow, maybe I should ask him about it then._

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Draco stared at the ceiling, laying on his bed, not even bothering to get ready for sleep. He didn't plan on it. He had laughed, laughed on the ground with Potter. He had touched him; pulled him around by his arm…he loved that feeling of control, even if it was brief. He even told Potter he had sexy arse. That had been a mistake; he couldn't slip up like that again. Potter had shouted something back at him. He figured that he had misunderstood, and that Harry hadn't put arsenic in his pumpkin juice. That was just very un-Potterish. Oh well, he'd ask him at detention later that evening. Smiling to himself, Draco did fall asleep eventually, with a certain ebony haired Gryffindor entering his dreams…

_Fuck._ Draco had woken up that morning, his pants feeling a bit too tight for comfort. He went to the bathroom to take care of his not-so-little problem, once again, muttering about sexy, bloody Gryffindors…

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Later that evening, Harry was waiting outside the Potion Master's office, leaning against the wall. He wasn't looking forward to the dreadful effects that detention had on him, but he was looking forward to spending his evening, with his new…_friend…_Draco. Malfoy. Wow. He still couldn't get over it. Speaking of the devil, Draco suddenly turned the corner. He, too, leaned on the wall next to Harry, nodding.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"…"

"…"

Harry sighed. "So."

"So."

"Ready for detention?"

"No. You?"

"Nope."

"You didn't put arsenic in my juice."

Harry laughed. "No, I didn't."

"Then what did you say?"

"…I forget."

"No you don't, you bloody wanker."

"Oh shut up, Malfoy."

"Draco."

"What?"

"It's Draco. Not Malfoy."

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

"It's alright…Potter."

"Hey!"

"Just kidding,_ Harry_."

"…"

"Stop tapping your foot."

"Sorry."

"…"

"This is awkward."

"No shit."

Thankfully, there awkwardness was stopped when Snape opened his door and sneered at the two boys. "You two will be having a fun-filled detention of waxing the floors in the teacher's lounge bowling alley."

"We have a bowling alley?"

"There's a teacher's lounge?"

Snape rolled his yes, "Yes. Now follow me." Snape led the boys down a few corridors, two flights of stairs and finally stopped at the end of a particularly long corridor near a picture of an elderly man sitting in a chair. He looked at them expectedly, "Password?" he asked looking at the three intruders. Snape gritted his teeth. "Huffle my Puffle."

Harry snorted and quickly shoved his fist in his mouth to stifle his laughing. Draco looked as though he was trying to suck his entire face in his mouth and turned away from both Harry and Snape so they didn't see him loose control of his perfectly masked expressions.

The three walked down the flight of stairs following the entrance, passed a room full of couches by a fire for lounging and indeed, into a bowling alley. There was a 'magical', not to be confused with electronic, floor buffer, and some buckets of sudsy water and rags. Draco eyed them with much distaste and Harry looked at Snape for further instruction.

Snape glared at them both. "Well, what are you waiting for? Get to work, I shall be back in two hours time." with those last words of encouragement, he swept for the room leaving Harry and Draco to be once again, in an awkward silence.

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Harry sighed. This wasn't going to be much fun. Uncomfortable silences, made him, well, uncomfortable. He glanced at Draco. Draco still hadn't moved, and was looking at the rags, mops, and buckets, his nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Well, I suppose we better get started."

"Are you kidding me, Harry? This is slaves' work!"

"Yes, well I'm pretty much used to it, so I don't really care. You on the other hand…pretty-boy….might have a bit trouble with…cleaning." Harry smirked.

"Stop bloody smirking! You're stealing my trademark!"

"Well, I'd rather you smile than smirk, it's much more attractive."

"What did you say?"

"My, um…shoes. They have good traction."

Draco grinned at Harry and then looked around sadly at the four lanes they were expected to wax. "Well, where do we start? I trust you know more about cleaning than I do."

"Well… Hmm…" Harry grabbed a bottle labeled 'Mr. Renegade's Best Floor Waxing Solution.

A slow smirk crept on Harry's lips. He turned slowly to Draco. "I think I have an idea to make this much more fun." Harry swaggered down the first lane like a model tipping some of the solution over the ground. Then he walked back to wear Draco was standing and kicked off his shoes. "Do you know any clothes cleaning spells?"

"No, what do I look like, a house elf?"

"Nah, you're much too cute. Oh well, it's a shame…I did like these pants."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Watch." Harry backed up to the wall, opposite the lane. Then, without warning, he sprinted forward and jumped into the puddle of solution, sliding down the lane, screaming on the top of his lungs in pure joy, and then he very ungracefully smashed into the wall.

"Woohoo! Draco that was great! You've got to give it a try!"

"Are you out of your mind, Harry? You have got to be fucking kidding me if you think I'm getting floor polish all over my clothes."

"Suit yourself." Harry then proceeded then to slide the length of the lane a few more times, clearly enjoying himself. Draco continued to stand watching Harry, still shocked that Harry had called his smile attractive, and himself cute. He must have been really out of it because he became suddenly aware that Harry was just inches from his face, obnoxiously waving his hand in front of his eyes.

"Hello? Anyone in there?"

Draco snapped out of it and he looked swiftly at Harry. "Sorry, what?"

"Alright, since I've so nicely spread out the solution, we've got to actually wax the lanes now. Go grab a rag."

Harry then ensued to start cleaning the floor with rag in hand for a few minutes. He sighed dramatically and looked up at Draco. "Well? Aren't you going to do anything?"

Draco glared at him.

Harry got up and walked up to Draco, staring at him, eye to eye. Gradually, he took Draco's hand and led him over to the first lane. Harry was surprised how willingly Draco was following him, even more surprised that he let Harry hold his hand. Then, without warning, Harry plunged both of their hands into the first bucket full of murky water.

"EWWWWWW! POTTER YOU FUCKWIT! THAT'S DISGUSTING! EW! EW! EW!"

Harry started cracking up and pelted Draco with a few rags for laughs. This just made the blonde even more aggravated. Draco then jumped on to the buffer and turned it on full speed, and chased after Harry. At this time, Harry had to stop laughing and instead run from his life in fear of being waxed to death.

"WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON IN HERE?" In the doorway, stood a very angry looking Snape. Of course. He had to walk in at this precise time.

Draco stopped his evil cackling and turned off the buffer, benevolently jumping back to his feet. Harry stood up out of the fetal position he was previously in and both looked at Snape with extremely apprehensive faces.

Snape closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. When he felt he was able to speak, he opened his mouth. "I have no idea what I just walked in on. Though, I think I'll wager a guess. Potter, you provoked Malfoy, causing him to attack you with the floor buffer. Fifty points from Gryffindor. Now, you will have to clean up this mess and I don't care if that means your detention goes on longer. And for safety reasons, I will have to remove this buffer." Snape snatched it from Draco's hands and walked to the door and stopped. "Do try not to kill each other, won't you?"

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At Snape's departure, both boys finally lost it and started cracking up, falling onto the ground in laughter, holding their sides. A full fifteen minutes of nonstop laughter. Wow, how concerning. Gasping for air, Harry finally contained himself enough to speak.

"Holy shit, I thought we were done for!"

"As did I."

"Wow that was great. Well, erm…sorry I dunked your hand in the water…and threw sponges at you."

"Sorry I attacked you with a floor buffer."

And again, both boys collapsed into fits of laughter.

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And again, both boys had reached an awkward silence. Harry was scrubbing lane four, Draco lane two. Harry was downright bored of their 'conversation' and decided to break the ice.

"Draco, why did you agree to be my friend?"

"…"

"Draco?"

"I'm thinking, Potter."

"Oh."

"…"

"Done thinking, yet?"

"No."

"Psh, and I thought you were smart."

"Shut up!"

Harry snorted and rolled his eyes. What a multitasker.

"I don't know."

"You brood on that for five minutes and you come up with 'I don't know'?"

"Yes. Well, it's hard to explain…I don't really know how to put it in words."

"Oh, it's alright Draco I understand. With the circumstances…"

"What circumstances?"

"Well, you know…that…thing…"

"No, I do not know. What thing?"

"Come on Draco, you know what I'm talking about…your…problem."

"My problem?"

"Yeah. That…disease."

"What?"

"You know…you're…AIDS. That's why you wanted me to be your friend, you wanted to sort out your affairs before…well, you know."

Draco stared blankly at Harry.

"It's okay you know, I'll still be your friend. Well, Ron told me and I figured that was the reason why. We don't have to talk about it if you-" Harry stopped mid sentenced for Draco had just fallen onto the floor again, laughing so much that he was crying. Harry stared at Draco, completely confused. This certainly wasn't something he would find funny.

"Draco, are, are you alright?"

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Do you need to be taken to the hospital wing?"

Draco stopped laughing and looked at Harry still smiling. _Oh god that smile…_

"Potter you douche-bag, I do not need to be taken to the hospital wing. I'm fine. I don't have AIDS. I just told Roonil that because I wanted him to dump me."

"You, you don't have AIDS?"

"No!"

"Oh, wow that makes me feel so much better! I was really worried." Harry suddenly jumped up and smacked Draco upside the head.

"Ow!"

"Don't scare me like that!"

"Well, sorry. I didn't expect your friend to blab though."

"Wow. You really wanted to break things off with him didn't you?"

"Yeah…well. I guess."

The door slammed open and Snape barged into the room. "Good to see that you've finished." he sneered, "though it did take you quite a lot of time. You're free to go. But be warned, it is after hours, and I have no intention of giving you an excuse. Good night."

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"Harry you're breathing in my ear again."

"Sorry."

In truth, Draco didn't mind that Harry was breathing in his ear. Being under an invisibility cloak nice and cozy with Potter wasn't something to complain about. Though, it was causing some slightly embarrassing effects.

"Watch where you put your sodding feet, Potter!"

"Sorry! It is kind of difficult to move under here, especially with you practically welded to my body!"

"I am not welded to you! Sorry if we have to be close, god why did this thing have to be so damn small!"

"It's not exactly made for two, Draco!"

"Well maybe if you didn't bloody well-" Draco was cut off when Harry pressed his hand against Draco's mouth. Harry roughly shoved him against the wall and was very, very close to him.

"Shhh!"

Professors McGonagall and Sinistra had just swept by chatting animatedly.

"Phew, that was close…With you practically screaming I was sure we were going to be caught. OW! You bit me!"

"Well, you wouldn't move you're hand. Potter…" Draco's voice seemed to be a couple of octaves higher than usual. "Would you please move your knee, it's kind of…well…"

"Oh." said Harry gruffly, backing away. "Sorry. Wow, I seem to be apologizing a lot tonight."

"Just a bit."

Abruptly Draco grabbed Harry's wrists and pushed him forcefully against the wall. Before Harry could even figure out what was going on, Draco's lips crashed down vigorously on his own. The kiss was absolutely perfect. Instead of feeling passion, desire, want and all those joyful feelings…it was a strong sentiment of six years of pent up sexual tension. And that worked out just fine for each boy. When air became a dire need, Draco unwillingly broke the kiss. Harry opened his eyes and they became wide in shock, almost matching Draco's bulging orb-like ones.

"Holy fucking shit!"

Draco burst out from under the invisibility cloak and flew down the corridor and down to the dungeons, not even caring if he were to be caught, leaving Harry standing alone, completely, utterly, frozen in shock in his midst.

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Hint…hint…Reviews make me happy! Which inspire me to write more! And I have stuff in my head for the next chapter…I don't think it will be as odd as this, but it should be a laugh- yay their first kiss!

(To stop any confusion-Draco was the one to scream at the end…just in case no one caught that).


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: OHMYGOSH. I am so sorry! This took forever to post but I have been so incredibly busy with Marching Band and School work, it has been insane. But, I am back! I swear, when I wrote the first part of this chapter, I was on crack…which is why my characters followed suit…cough—read on my friends, and be afraid. (No I actually wasn't on crack, I was like…sugar high, you know?) So I used Crick118's amazing quote here, so it doesn't fit in at all, I love how completely random it is. Also, I forgot to mention that in my last chapter, when I said "Huffle My Puffle" that was not actually out of my imagination, sadly. It is indeed a band. I just loved their title. I didn't actually listen to their music, so I have no idea how it is…and now I'm rambling…well…on with the story!

Chapter Nine: The monster returns

Harry couldn't quite remember getting back to his dormitory that night. One moment he was being kissed by Draco, the next…HOLY MOTHER FUCK! DRACO HAD KISSED HIM! And it had been absolutely amazing! Harry had never been kissed like that before, it just did not compare at all to Seamus'. Hell, Seamus' were complete shit after that. He was now currently sitting on a squashy armchair near the roaring fire, alone. He spent a lot of time alone now, why do you ask? Because Ron and Hermione were clueless homophobes. That's why. He was just about to turn in for the night when the portrait opened and Ron and Hermione came sauntering in.

"-well, he better be back. Honestly, alone with Malfoy for hours…I feel really bad for him, you know?"

"I'm sure he's fine, Ron. Harry can perfectly take care of him- Harry!"

….silence…

"Harry? Did you hear Hermione's shriek? Are you alright?"

Harry's head snapped up. "What? Sorry, didn't catch that."

Hermione looked at him questioningly. "How was detention? Did you and Malfoy survive? Or is he lying in the hospital wing unconscious as we speak?"

"It… it was…" Harry gazed into the blazing fire once more.

"Harry?"

"Well, it was detention, what did you expect! Anything special, anything different, unexpected!" Harry cried some-what hysterically, practically ripping his hair out in the process.

"N-no Harry. I didn't mean anything like-"

"Because nothing happened! Nothing! If that's what you thinking! Well, well… you were wrong!"

"I never said anything hap-"

"WRONG!"

Hermione strode up to Harry and smacked him across the face. "Harry! What's the matter with you?"

Harry's angered expression changed into concern and regret at once. "Oh Hermione, I'm so sorry! Did my head hurt your hand? I didn't mean to get like that!"

"Harry! You're-you're cracking up! You're acting like a pregnant woman or something with all these mood swings!" Ron declared, looking at Harry in alarm.

Harry's eyes bulged. "Pregnant! Oh my gosh! Is that possible? I mean, we didn't even have sex! Can a kiss trigger pregnancy, Hermione? OH MY GOSH I'M PREG-"

Harry's ranting was cut off when Hermione smacked him, again. "Harry! Just stop! Really, what is the matter? Who did you kiss and not have sex with? And Harry, I can assure you, you're not pregnant. You're just obviously distressed."

"Distressed! Of course I'm distressed! You would be too if…" Harry trailed off, squinting his green eyes into an angered glare. "But why should I tell you? You haven't shown the slightest bit of interest in me since, well, since I told you that I was gay." Harry opened the portrait hole and stalked off angrily down the corridor. He was pissed and needed to relax.

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"Pst. Hey kid, yeah. You."

Harry turned around on the spot, looking into the shadows for the speaker. Suddenly, by the looks of it, a seventh year walked from a corner, drawing his clock high over his face so that Harry could not recognize him.

"Me?"

"Who else would I be talking to dumbass?"

"What do you want?"

"You know Seamus Finnegan?"

"Unfortunately." Harry growled.

"Well, tell him his, er, package arrived. Yeah…his package." The mysterious stranger added tossing Harry a plain brown paper bag.

"What?"

But the stranger had gone…DUN DUN DUN

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Harry absent-mindedly wandered the halls, finding random broom cupboards and classrooms. Eventually, his feet led him to the Room of Requirement. Harry didn't actually know what he needed; the door had just appeared for him. Cautiously he opened it to see Snape and Mc-just kidding. He stepped into a cozy looking room. It was spacious and had a couch next to a wooden table. Harry sat down and simply stared into space for a while, and then he got bored and looked for something to do. He spotted cigarette paper lying on the table and a lighter. Letting his curiosity get the best of him, Harry opened the brown paper bag and saw (big surprise) a small bag of white powder, and no children, it wasn't flour or sugar. He wasn't planning on making cookies. So, doing what any natural teenager would do in this position (are you kidding me, I wouldn't do this-or would I? dun dun dun) Harry proceeded to get high. Now, everyone who takes drugs for their first time has different reactions. Some people get stupid, some paranoid, some just don't do anything. Harry was a paranoid Potter.

_I wonder what Malfoy is doing now. That kiss was so bloody amazing! I never thought this would ever happen. I'm in total shock. I could just, die. Well, maybe I should! _

Thought Harry, picking up a convenient dagger.

_No one would notice if I died. No one would care. Wait…would Draco? Did that kiss mean anything to him, like it did to me? What if he was using me? What if it's all a lie and he's snogging out the brains out of Ron again._

At this thought, Harry felt the return of the monster growling in his chest.

_No, no I can not be bothered by this! Draco's hormones were probably just ranging, or he was on pot…like me. Maybe…maybe he thinks that what he did was stupid. When you're on pot, you do stupid things…I'm so glad I'm not like that._

Reflected Harry, as he slowly drew his knife down his wrist. Because Harry's brain wasn't functioning, he did not realize that he was slowly committing suicide…what a stupid wanker.

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Harry sighed and walked slowly down the corridors back to the Gryffindor common room. Yes, he was still bleeding and turning steadily paler. He opened the door to find that Hermione and Ron were sitting on a plush couch, apparently waiting for him to return.

"Oh Harry! You're back we were so worried- OH MY GOSH WHAT HAPPENED?" shrieked Hermione clutching her chest.

"Oh." replied Harry, looking at his wrist and finally realizing that he was bleeding. He scratched his nose awkwardly. "Paper cut."

Hermione whipped out her wand and healed his arm. "Ron!" she demanded suddenly. "Go to Madam Pomfreys and get a blood replenishing potion!"

Ron mumbled something incoherent and slumped out of the portrait hole.

Hermione turned to Harry, glaring heavily at him. "You did not get a paper cut. What happened?"

"I tripped…"

Her glare deepened.

"And fell…"

Hermione growled.

"On a dagger?"

Hermione's face relaxed and she looked at him skeptically. "You tripped and fell on a dagger? What, a dagger was just lying blade side up in the middle of the hallway?" she asked, obviously not believing him.

"Yeah it was."

…Awkward silence…

"Just, just sit down, Harry. You're so pale. I'll make you some coffee."

Harry gratefully accepted his coffee and blood replenishing potion when Ron returned with it.

…Two Hours Later…

"Fuck." whispered Hermione, "I knew I should have given him de-cafe."

Harry was currently curled up in a ball, rocking back in forth, drinking his eighth cup of coffee. His eyes were darting back across the room and seemed to be having a mental fight with himself in his mind.

_If only I knew what Draco was thinking now…god damnit why does he have to be such a great bloody kisser! I should not be attracted to him; he probably has a girlfriend…_

Harry pictured Draco and Pansy Parkinson together, walking into the Yule Ball and felt the familiar growling in his chest. He had to ignore the 'monster'. This wasn't Ginny, it was Draco. Draco Malfoy for god's sake! _Well, if he kissed me…he is bound to be gay, or at least bi, ugh. _Harry shuddered at the thought of Draco and Blaise Zambini together.

"Harry, what's wrong? You look as if you've just seen a ghost." stated Hermione, looking at strange expression on Harry's face.

Harry stood up suddenly. "I'm fine. I just have to…I have to…" the angry growls of jealousy were pushing up through his throat.

"Do you need to go to Madame Pomfrey?" asked Ron, looking thoroughly concerned.

"Yes, yes…that's what I need." stammered Harry, wringing his hands about.

"Do you want us to come with you? I'm sorry Harry, I'm just so worried." and Hermione truly looked it.

Harry began walking towards the portrait hole. He turned around slowly (for dramatic effect, duh) and said in a low voice, "Guys, listen…life is like a bowl full of Jell-O; the only time you should worry about it is when it's completely still." and darted out of the room.

Hermione's eye twitched in confusion and Ron looked at her for help. "What the hell is Jell-O?"

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Harry raced down corridors so fast, that everything was a dark blur. The monster of jealousy was raging inside him fighting to break free…and at precisely 2:17 AM, every pupil and staff teacher was woken up by a large roar and earth shattering cry: HELP! MADAME POMFREY THERE'S A MONSTER IN MY CHEST, GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!

A/N: Now can you see why I was on crack when I wrote this? Lol, it was more like…my brain wasn't properly functioning. I apologize if you all got excited that I updated, read this and were like…wtf? I would be too….It was amusing to write though lol


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

"But, but you're sure he will be ok?" Hermione asked for the seventeenth time.

"Yes. He should be fine. Once I pumped the pot and coffee out of his stomach…gave him a calming drought and erased the scars…I gave him a sleeping potion. He should be waking soon.

"Scars?" asked a baffled Ron.

"Didn't you know? The poor dear fell on a dagger."

"I thought I healed that…" Hermione mumbled.

"Obviously not, or there wouldn't be blood all over the sheets." drawled a cold, distant voice from the entrance.

"Malfoy." Hermione stated...not the most friendly greeting mind you, but a greeting all the same.

"Hermione." he nodded.

"OH!! OH-HO HO! It's Hermione now, is it? You can just drop this Mr. Nice-Guy act now, buddy! I know that you're up to something!" yelled Ron unexpectedly.

"And just what am I 'up to'?" he smirked.

Ron looked at Hermione for help, then Harry, before he realized that he was still asleep. "Well, I don't know yet! But I sure as hell you're not here to pick up your ATZs! Yes! I did research AIDS…you disgust me! I'll find out what your motives are!" he raged.

"You do that." replied Draco casually.

Ron glared at Draco. "Come on Hermione. Let's leave…wouldn't want to catch anything _snooty._"

Draco turned away from the couple as they left. Obviously, they were still upset that Draco was now Harry's friend. Well, Draco wanted to be more than a friend, and feared he proved so last night. He looked at Harry sleeping peacefully, the sunlight streaming across his face. He looked a bit pale, and seemed to have a worried look about his features, even in his sleep.

_Oh Harry…_thought Draco, _If only I knew how you felt about that kiss…_

Draco stroked his hand down Harry's cheek. _So soft…_

Harry's lips curled into a small smile and he heaved a sigh of content, "Mhmmm…Draco", he murmured, rolling over in his sleep.

"Wow. That was fast." Draco climbed onto the bed…and Harry. Straddling him, Draco leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Harry's perfect lips.

Harry's eyes shot open. "What the fu-mhmmm", the poor docile Gryffindor mumbled giving easily into the kiss. Finally, a kiss longer than a peck! A kiss of exploration, caring, and bringing each boy into a stage of bliss. The kiss was so long in fact, that I am going to wait and hum the Harry Potter theme song until they are done. Dun dunnn dun dunnnn dun duunnnnnnn dunnn dunnnnnn dunnn dun dun dunnn dun dunnnn…..Alright. They're done.

"Wow. The Boy-Who-Lived is on crack…who would have known?"

"Yeah…well…that-that was…you see, because you…well…shut up. I wouldn't be here in the first place if it hadn't been for you!"

"Me?"

"Yes! You kissed me and bloody ran away! I was going crazy! I was on crack, I tried committing suicide, and then I got hyped up on coffee, and ran around the school like a mad-man screaming about monsters!"

"Oh…that was you?"

"OF COURSE IT WAS ME!"

"You're such a fuckwit, Potter." And Draco proceeded to seal this oh-so-romantic statement with a kiss. :sigh: dun dunnn dun dunnnn dun dunnnn dunn dunnnn….dunnn dun dun dunnn dun dunnnn….

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"Harry, I just can't work with these!" Draco whined, trying to maneuver around Harry's bifocals. (That was really funny to say…bifocals…hah).

"What?"

Draco snatched Harry's glasses off his face and threw them out the nearest window. "To the library!"

"You sound like Hermione."

SMACK

"Ow!"

"You deserved it…junkie."

"God, I'm never going to live this down am I?"

"No, and I'm not going to hide anything sharp from you from now on too. Give me your quills."

"No."

"Yes, bitch."

"Did you just call me a bitch?"

"Maybe."

"Wow. You really are a poofter."

SMACK

"God damnit Malfoy stop hitting me!"

"Stop calling me Malfoy, Potter!"

"Well, then- hey! Our names sound rather cute together."

"They do…why don't we just go and _scribble them all over our Transfiguration books_?"

Harry buried his face in his hand, blushing crimson.

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CLANG

"Argh!" Harry unsteadily got back to his feet from the ground. This was the fifth time in the last fifteen minutes he had run into a pole. He really needed his glasses back…but alas; he couldn't get them back because SOMEONE HAD THROWN THEM OUT A WINDOW!

"MALFOY! I CAN'T SEE WHAT'S GOING ON!

THUD

"GOD DAMNIT WHERE ARE YOU!?"

Draco laughed and pulled Harry's hand into his own. "You're as blind as a bat without your glasses, Potter. Don't worry, I'll guide you do the library."

As soon as both boys stepped into a main hallway it was as though a spotlight was put on them. Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin Prince, was holding hands with Harry Potter, 'The Chosen One'…who seemed to be missing his glasses and had a remarkable amount of bruises and bumps covering his face.

Whispers started spreading around the room like a wild fire, Potter and Malfoy holding hands…holy crap.

"OI!" Draco shouted loudly and jumped onto the nearest table (Yes, there are random, convenient tables in the hallways, shut up), "STOP BLOODY WHISPERING!"

Everyone fell silent. Yes, he was just that powerful. I know he's skinny, pale, and feminine…but he's a little raging ball of fire!

"It's not like I fancy him or anything!" Draco shot Harry a look of pure hatred. "Listen, Saint Potter got on my nerves, so I smashed his ugly face in and destroyed his repulsive glasses. Unfortunately, we were caught by Dumbledore so I had to guide him here. Understand?"

"Oh of course Draco, you're not holding his hand, you're just guiding him!" smirked Blaise Zambini.

Draco shot Blaise a well pronounced glare. He jumped off the table gracefully and went to the Gryffindor towers, leading Harry all the way. As soon as they entered the Boy's dormitory and once out of ear shot, Harry turned to Draco, actually he turned to a wall that he thought was Draco…he really was blind.

"I guess this means, you're not ready to go public with our relationship?" he asked a table."

Draco put his hands on Harry's shoulders and turned him around so that they were facing each other. "Harry, if this got around the school…you would be in the front page as 'Boy-Who-Lived-To-Get-With-Death-Eater's-Son…and my father would kill me."

Harry sighed. "I can't see your gorgeous face. It's pissing me off. You get no kiss."

"No! What to you mean no kiss?"

"Well…I understand why you don't want to go public…I guess I agree. It might be fun to keep this a secret you know? But, you took away my eyes…so I'm taking away the kisses until you find a way to able myself to see. Then we'll talk." Harry said pushing Draco out of the door.

"But! But, not even a peck-" and the door was promptly slammed on Draco's oh-so-gorgeous face.

Needless to say, Draco didn't sleep the entire night, looking through book after book, and finally going to Hermione for help. Damn, this kid really wanted a kiss.

A/N: I updated early as a birthday present for me…but really its for you, so that doesn't make sense. I wanted reviews for my birthday ohkay? And I'm just gonna ignore the fact that my birthday was on Tuesday lol. Anyways, thanks for the reviews! They make me really happy!! I'll keep writing with more reviews…they inspire me! So I was really bored in study hall today and I started writing a one-shot (HPDM who else?) I'm not finished yet, but look out for that, it shall be posting soon hopefully!! (I apologize for any grammar mistakes, but im doing this without a beta...so yeah. )THANK YOU GUYS I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Harry's New Look

There was a short blinding flash and everything around him went dark. Harry felt the world spinning beneath his feet, the blackness was engulfing him. He choked on the black air swarming down his throat, making him gag. Over the rushing in his ears he heard a faint cry…

"Harry! Wake up, damnit! You're going to be late!"

…He couldn't see anything…his eyes snapped open. _Damn._ He _still_ couldn't see anything. Harry jumped out of bed. Unfortunately for him, he was still entwined in his sheets and fell into a clumsy heap on the ground. He groaned. This was going to be a horrible day. In Harry's hurried and almost blind attempt to get ready, he got dressed and cleaned up alright…almost. Ok. Well, except for the fact that he had washed his hair with axle grease (who doesn't keep axle grease in the shower?), styled it with toothpaste, and was wearing two different socks, but other than that…he looked great! Harry stumbled down the stairs rubbing his eyes wearily.

"Finally, you're ready! Come on, we need to get breakfast!" Ron shouted.

"Fine…let's go…god I'm so tired…where's Hermione?"

"Right here!" she called out indignantly…how could anyone ignore Hermione, jeez, her head was so large, it stuck out a lot.

They walked to the portrait hole…actually, Ron and Hermione walked to the portrait hole, Harry, however, walked into the fireplace.

"GAH! IT BURNS!"

"STOP, DROP, AND ROLL, HARRY!" Hermione shrieked hysterically.

Luckily, for once, Ron kept his head in this situation (how unlike him) and bellowed, "Agumenti!"

Harry stood up, dripping, axel grease running down his neck, and slightly on the crispy side.

"Wow. Harry. You look like total and complete shit!" said Ron, encouragingly.

"Thanks." mumbled Harry.

"Oh Harry, you can't see…I forgot, I'll lead you." said Hermione apologetically.

Harry ran his hands through his hair, and wiped the axle grease off his face and neck and wiped his irritated eyes again.

They walked down the hall together hand in hand, Ron trotting behind shooting jealous glances every once in a while. What a hot-headed little person. Girls keep grinning suggestively at Harry and it was beginning to freak him out.

"Harry," Hermione stated, brow furrowed, "are you wearing…eyeliner?"

"What?" gasped a bewildered Harry. He glanced down at his hands. _Shit. _They were covered in axle grease. Wow, being blind was no fun. _Draco is going to pay for this. No kisses for the next week!_

Once guided to the Great Hall, the trio sat down…it took Harry two tries…but…he got to his seat eventually!

Paravati and Lavender walked by and stopped dead in their tracks. "Hermione, who's your new friend there? Care to introduce us?"

Ron looked skeptically at the girls. "It's… just… Harry. Just Harry."

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Draco stumbled down the hall, stumbled into people, stumbled up the stairs, stumbled into the Great Hall, and finally stumbled to his seat. That was when he proceeded to fall head first into a bowl of porridge.

"DRACO!"

Instantly Draco's head shot up, flinging porridge at some poor first years. Eyelids threatening to close he said, "Wha'?" as snappishly as he could. Unfortunately, one can not be snappish and intimidating while yawning with their face covered in goop; it just isn't done.

"How'd you sleep, Drake?" asked Blaise, clapping Draco on the back.

"I didn't." replied Draco coolly, wiping breakfast off his face. He jumped from the table and practically sprinted out of the Great Hall. He tore off down corridor after corridor and didn't stop until he reached the Potion's hallway. It was then that he spotted Harry, unfortunately flanked by The Weasel and Mudblood.

"Potter!" he spat. Harry spun on the spot and turned to a suit of armor.

"Yes?" Draco smacked himself in the face and let out a muffled cry of frustration. He had to talk to Harry, alone. He needed a code. He grabbed Harry by the collar and spun him around so that their faces were about 4.237 inches apart, but that was just an estimate. But Merlin, thought Draco, if this boy couldn't see his face, well that was just sad.

"Potter! I'm going to be in the new Divination classroom at seven o'clock tonight. So…you better not be there, or else!"

"Alright then." said Harry nonchalantly.

"Do you see my eye, Potter? Notice how it's moving up and down in a strange but subtle motion?" Draco cried out, trying to get the Gryffindor to understand. He gave up and whispered, "I'm winking at you, Harry."

"Are you now? See, I can't tell because for some unexplainable reason, I'VE GONE BLIND!"

Draco looked down at the ground in shame. "Sorry." he muttered. "I'll fix it, I promise."

"DRACO!" shrieked Pansy. "Stop talking to Potter! Let's go!"

"Seven o' clock." said Draco, looking at Harry meaningfully.

"I won't be there." replied Harry, winking.

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"He's late." Draco grumbled to himself, pacing the empty room. Well, forest room. Whatever.

Seven o'clock came and went. And the Boy-Who-Lived, _and would soon die,_ thought Draco, never showed.

"He stood me up." Draco said in disbelief. "That little wanker. I'll kill him."

"Hey." came a shy voice from the corner. "Sorry I'm late. I got lost along the way…multiple times." Harry voiced, glaring at Draco, but somehow still looking adorable.

Draco didn't waste any time. He strode up to Harry and whispered an incantation, clearing Harry's vision.

It felt like a fog was lifted from Harry's clouded eyes. You know, like after those muggles take their Claritin Clear. He looked at Draco. "Damn. I forgot how hot you were".

Draco laughed and pulled the boy into a kiss. "I missed you." he murmured, snuggling into Harry's shoulder blade.

"Not done yet." spoke Harry softly, returning Draco's lips to their rightful place- on Harry's. Both boys stood, deepening the kiss, fitting together perfectly. Neither wanted to move. It was Harry who pulled away. "I like spending time with you, Draco. But I want to do so in public!"

Draco sighed. "Harry, you know we can't do that, I thought we discussed this already!"

"We did." Harry pouted, "But…what if…we were just friends?"

Draco looked skeptically at Harry. "What do you mean 'just friends'? Are you trying to tell me something!?"

Harry shook his head smiling. "No. I mean…in the public eye we're just friends. Nothing more. And when people aren't around we can…well…you know…" he trailed off, blushing.

"Oh, you mean we can do this?" Draco asked innocently, pinning Harry against the wall, thrusting his hips into Harry's.

"Hmm!?" Harry squeaked. Not really able to get any words to form.

Draco smiled devilishly at Harry. "Yes, this plan should work out fine. Are you going to tell your friends about this?" he asked, backing up from Harry.

"Um. I'm actually not sure…" voiced Harry, placing his bag in front of his robes in embarrassment. "I'll just find out what they think first…it might be a while before I tell them."

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"WHAT DO YOU MEAN GAY?" bellowed Ron into the Great Hall at breakfast the next morning. All head from all five tables whipped around to stare at the three famous Gryffindors. Hermione glanced around nervously, Harry ducked down in his seat, his face as almost as red as Ron's hair. Ron just looked at Harry is bewilderment, not even noticing that the entire hall was dead quiet.

"I said gray, Ron, gray. I'm thinking of dying my hair gray. How would one go about dying their hair gay?" Harry asked nervously, hoping Ron and Hermione would realize he was making up stories to save his reputation.

"I don't know…rainbow streaks? And just why would you want to dye your hair gray?" asked Ron, catching on. People were still staring.

"Well, because…it would be like…you know…" Harry stuttered, trying to think on his feet, though he actually wasn't capable of this trait.

"To look like Taylor Hicks!" shouted Draco Malfoy from the Slytherin table.

"Who the hell is Taylor Hicks?" asked Ron dumfounded.

"He's only our American Idol!" said Pansy dreamily.

"But…but…we're British." Ron stated bluntly.

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"Well, that went well." Draco stated sarcastically.

Harry groaned in defeat. "He hates me."

"Ickle Ronnekins?"

"Yes."

"Wait…didn't he know that you were gay with Seamus?"

"…Kim…I think you messed up something in the storyline…this isn't working out."

Kim: "What the hell? I'm so retarded…I totally just fucked up the end of this chapter…shit… I need to think of something clever…uhm…er…smacks self on head I really am sleep deprived…Well…um…better luck next chapter?

Harry and Draco proceed to shake their heads in shame and walk of the scene. Wow. I'm really retarded.

BEGGING FOR REVIEWS! THIS WAS MY GAYYEST CHAPTER YET I KNOW, AND IT HAD THE WORST EVER ENDING AND I APOLOGIZE BUT I STILL LOVE REVIEWS!!! I promise, that, in the next chapter…ill put whatever you guys want me to, even if I hate the idea! Even if it completely messes up the story plot and is unbearably random, I'll add it! I just ask for forgiveness!

Ill fix this problem next chapter! Don't worry!

PS- Special thanks to emzily for putting up confused warnings…. Check out her stories… her penname is emzylupin


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: WOW! I still got reviews!! gives hug to every single reviewer I love you guys, I would seriously stop writing this story if I wasn't getting reviews so...keep it up! A big thanks to my friend Nicole for helping me write this story, she gives me good ideas but she helped made this one make sense, and to Crick118 for giving me quotes to use, i love a challenge! If anyone else wants to challenge me with ideas to add in the story...I'm game, yo. ANYWAYS. Read and Review!!

Chapter 12: Colin Creevy the Fiend

Draco: "Harry…Kim….why are you pacing? It's very distracting."

Kim: "Because…we're brainstorming."

Draco: "For what?"

Harry: "Well…you know how Kim totally screwed up the last chapter?"

Draco: "Yes…"

Harry: "Well, we're thinking of a way to change the plot ever so slightly that it makes sense."

Draco: "Oh…that's understandable."

Nicole: "I've got it!"

Fans (yes, I have fans!): Who the hell is Nicole?"

Kim: "Why, she is my amazing friend, who I was going to add in the storyline but she never fit in…so she's here now…what's your plan Nicole?"

Nicole: "Ready? Okay. Ron has short term memory loss! He forgets he's bisexual, and he forgets Harry was gay with Seamus!"

Harry, Draco, and Kim: "Hmmm…." stroke chins, pondering

Kim: That just might work…ON WITH CHAPTER 12!!!

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Harry and Hermione were currently sitting in the Gryffindor Common room, trying to reason with an extremely stubborn Ron.

"Wouldn't I be _aware_ of the fact that I have short-term memory loss!?" Ron said exasperatedly, throwing his hands in the air.

"Well, some people just don't know Ron…it's very sad."

"Prove it." he said bluntly.

"Prove what?" asked Harry, he wasn't really paying much attention. His memory kept straying to his…well…he didn't really know. Draco Malfoy could be described as neither friend nor boyfriend…nothing had been made official.

"Alright…" started Hermione trying to think of a huge Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone plot point, "do you remember…being bitten by a dragon our first year?"

"That was only in the book Hermione, I barely remember that. It wasn't about me…so no one cares. Try something that was in the movie…with that ravishingly handsome Daniel Radcliffe.

"Ew, Harry that's disgusting."

"What?"

"You…just like…checked yourself out. Perv."

"WELL, IF YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT! And it's not like Emma Watson is exactly beautiful." he added for good measure.

"And just what is that supposed to mean?"

"She has a weird forehead"

"Why you-"

"GUYS!" screamed Ron, clearly annoyed. "Can we focus on the task at hand?"

"Oh…right. Well, do you remember when you were caught in devilsnare…or when you won the huge chess game, you were a knight."

"How about turning into Vincent Crabbe?" chimed in Harry.

"Scabbers turning into Peter Pettigrew?"

"Us getting into a huge fight?"

"Battling Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries?"

"Making out consistently with Lavender Brown?" asked Harry, looking extremely hopeful.

Ron looked at them both as if they were mad. He tried to speak but nothing came out… "Wha…when…how…"

"Do you remember when you dated Draco Malfoy?"

And Ron was out cold.

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"Maybe you shouldn't have given him so much information at once…his small brain couldn't handle it." Draco suggested. He and Harry were sitting at the library…they had decided to become 'study buddies', yes they were that cool.

"I suppose. Well, he's in the hospital wing now…"

"Poor chap."

"Indeed."

"So…do you understand this Potions essay?"

"Psh…no."

"I'm bored."

"Me too."

"Want to make out?" Draco whispered deviously

"Draco…we're in public." Harry said blushing.

"Aw…you're so cute when you blush…you're all pink…and…rosy."

"Aw…you're so cute when you act gay."

SMACK

"OW!"

"SHH!! NO YELLING IN THE LIBRARY!" screamed Madame Pince.

"What a bloody hypocrite." said Harry in an undertone, smacking Draco on the head with a textbook."

"Damnit, Potter!"

"SHHH!!"

Harry obnoxiously sat on the blond's lap. He batted his eyelashes profusely, lip pouting and all. "I'm sorry Drakey-Poo…I didn't mean to hurt your gorgeous, insufferable, fair-haired head. Will you ever forgive me?"

Draco shot Harry a look of pure loathing and pushed Harry off his lap.

"OW! Fine, I can take a hint. No more kisses for-"

Draco motioned behind Harry with a sharp nod of his head. Harry turned to see Ron standing there.

"Hey, Ron." he said, trying to sound nonchalant. "Did you forget anything yet?"

"No…for some reason my short term memory loss isn't kicking in yet…"

"Did you hit your head or something?"

"Well, I didn't exactly have a wall, per say, so I banged my head against a pillow. It doesn't have the same effect."

Harry sat down next to Draco and Ron sat across from them. Ron kept glancing nervously at Draco, as though afraid he would jump him.

"So…Draco…we were a couple then?"

"Unfortunately."

"We're we the talk of the school?"

"No. No one knew except for Harry. I didn't want to throw my reputation away. Though I may be doing so right now, sitting with two Gryffindors."

"I was the only one who knew, why?" asked Harry, clueless to the fact that this was a touchy subject.

"Because." Draco shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Because why…?" carried on Harry.

"Because…I…could…trust you?"

"AWWW!!! DRACO THAT'S SO SWEET!" screamed Harry crushing Draco in a bear hug.

FLASH!

Draco pulled free from Harry's clutches. "COLIN CREEVEY!" he shouted, "THAT FIEND!"

Harry and Draco ran out the hall, following the distance sounds of clicking.

"Why am I here again?" Ron asked himself.

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A huge crowd had surrounded the three boys. Such an awkward position they were all in. Harry was sitting on Colin's legs, attempting to hold his hands down, while Draco was snatching at the camera, trying to pull it free off of Colin's scrawny neck.

The girls were distraught, two older boys picking on a small defenseless… (Pst! Harry, what year does this story take place in? Harry: Uhm…Seventh…HBP never happened? Righto!) Sixth year, it just was unfair!

Finally, wanting to know why this was such an uncomfortable situation, Blaise spoke up, "Draco! What are you doing?"

"Tackling Creevy."

"Why?"

"He has a picture of me I would rather not show to the public eye."

"Oh….you mean that time we were in Hogsmede and I dared you to-"

"NO! NOT THAT TIME!"

Blaise eyed the situation again. "Does this have something to do with Potter?"

"NO!" shouted both Draco and Harry in unison.

"He…just also has a picture of me too…" said Harry glancing around suspiciously.

"Oh."

"What was it?" asked Hermione.

"Uhh…I…was…naked?"

There was a brief silence and then…FAN.GIRLS.ATTACKED.

"OH MY GOSH I WANT TO SEE!"

And in all the hustle, bustle, attacking, stomping, somehow picture developing in the middle of a chaotic hallway where there clearly was no place to develop a picture… (deep breath)…but hey…that's what magic is for I suppose… pretty much the entire school had seen the picture in the last twelve seconds.

Harry closed his eyes. "Damn." _Wait for it…three…two…one…_

"Potter…" Pansy started, looking at Harry as though she had never seen him before, "Why are you molesting Draco?"

Harry's eyebrows disappeared into his ebony hair. "Wh- I…I was not molesting him!" he sputtered.

"Sure looks like it to me."

"Well, you need your eyes checked!"

"Says the boy who walks in to walls." she smirked, rolling her eyes. "Alright, if you weren't molesting him…what were you doing?"

"I…well…um…I was trying to steal his wallet."

"That's bull. You have a fortune."

"Well…Ron's poor. I tried to get money for him."

"HEY!" shouted Ron.

"Couldn't you have given him some of your own money, Potter?"

"Well…maybe if I had thought of that then, we wouldn't be having this argument!"

"So…basically you're openly admitting to the fact that you're a complete idiot?"

"YES." said Harry, walking away. He turned the corner… "HEY! Wait a minute!" he hollered, running back.

Everyone laughed.

"Well, I was…you see…it's difficult to explain…I…well…oh, fuck it." And the Boy- Who- Lived walked away, an angry expression on his face.

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	13. Chapter 13

A/N: YAY! 100 REVIEWS! 100 REVIEWS! YAY I LOVE YOU ALL!

Chapter 13: THE. FINAL. CHAPTER.

Harry was currently sitting in the Great Hall, stabbing his bacon with more force than necessary, muttering things to himself like, "That bloody wanker…didn't even try to defend me" and more incoherent grumbles.

"Hi Harry!" said Hermione happily, joining him for breakfast. Ron was following her, holding her books like a good pet…I mean…boyfriend.

"What are you so happy about?" asked Harry, practically blazing fire from his eyes.

"I just got an A on my Herbology essay!"

"So? You get A's all the time."

"Oh Harry, just because you're upset doesn't mean you have to kill the joy in everyone else!"

"I'M NOT UPSET!" yelled Harry, breaking the glass of orange juice he was holding.

"Sure." replied Hermione, picking shards of glass out of her hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"The rumors."

"What rumors?"

"Well, obviously, no one bought that 'I'm stealing his wallet for Ron' story, so they have their own theories."

"Care to elaborate on that?" asked Ron interested.

"They think that you and Malfoy are secret lovers and Colin caught you two at a vulnerable time."

All heads whipped around to see the source of a sudden thud. They were just in time to see Harry and Ron ungracefully attempting to free themselves from the benches they had fallen off of.

Harry glared at Draco from across the Hall. "I'm going to the hospital wing." he said bitterly.

"Emotional shock?" asked Hermione smugly.

"No." said Harry angrily. "I have no emotions. I am dead inside. I just have glass embedded in my hand and it hurts like HELL." and he stalked off.

"He's so over dramatic." voiced Ron.

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Hand heavily bandaged, an angsty, hormone raged, fuming, ill-tempered and hot-headed Harry rampaged through the corridors. Watch. Out. Seeing his prey, Harry yelled out in the middle of a crowded hallway, "DRACO!"

Anyone who was anyone stopped talking and turned to the sexy, upset, Gryffindor, and the rather frightened, wimpy, yet still somehow sexy Slytherin. "I just love a good tussle in the morning!" cried Blaise happily. "Note how he called him by his first name." he said to the younger years.

"DRACO….I-DON'T-FUCKING-KNOW-WHAT-YOUR-MIDDLE-NAME-IS-NOR DO-I-CARE MALFOY!"

"WHAT, POTTER?!"

"Why are _you _yelling?"

"Because you are!"

"Oh…well…anyways, I'M SO EFFING MAD AT YOU!"

"SAME HERE!"

"WHAT THE HELL DID I DO!?"

"YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MY MIDDLE NAMES, HARRY _JAMES_ POTTER!"

Harry stared at Draco. "OH, NOW YOU'RE JUST BEING NIT-PICKY!"

There was now a rather large circle of pupils surrounding the two boys now, no one missed out on Harry and Draco fights, they were just too fun!

"AND YOU'RE BEING INCONSIDERATE!"

"I HATE YOU!"

"I HATE YOU TOO!"

They glared at each other, both red in the face and seething. Draco broke the silence.

"GOD, YOU ARE SO FUCKING HOT WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY!"

"I WANT TO RUN MY FINGERS THROUGH YOUR SILKY HAIR!"

"I'M EXTREMLEY HORNY!"

"I HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!"

"POTTER! I WANT YOU!"

Draco pulled out his wand, (No, not _that_ wand! Perverts…) ACCIO HARRY!"

Harry came zooming towards Draco and they slammed into one another, crashing magnificently to the ground. A couple other confused kids named Harry flew over too, but luckily, they were stopped in the rather large formation of students. Draco rolled on top of the Gryffindor and brought their lips together, devouring Harry's oh-so-sexy face. Harry eagerly returned the kiss, not ashamed at all. He ended it briefly, just to give a stupid looking grin at Draco and ask, "Alright you bloody fuckwit, what's your middle name?"

"Lind. It means blond, good looks."

"Of course." said Harry smiling, and more kissing ensued, as did the applause, faints, screaming, eye-bleeding, heart failure, crying, and pelting of objects by the other students and staff.

THE. END.

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SO.

Harry and Draco ended up getting married, living in a cozy flat in London, inventors of the pumpkin flavored condom. It tastes horrible, and causes orange rashes, but people buy them anyway because everyone loves HarryxDraco products!

Ron's heart gave out in shock and he died at a very young age. We all miss him dearly.

No one really knows what happened to Hermione…she ran into the Forbidden forest screaming obscenities and no one ever saw her again. Some say she started the female centaur species, others say that she married Grawp and they currently live in the Weasley's car…how Grawp fits in there, we'll never know.

Professor Snape became and champion bowler and finally washed his hair. HE WAS BLOND!

Professor Dumbledore retired as headmaster and is now working on creating the 'Ever-Lasting-Lemon Drop.

All of Harry and Draco's relatives died after trying the 'Ever-lasting-lemon drop' prototype, so no one could stop their beautiful relationship.

Blaise and Seamus got together and Harry killed Seamus by _accidentally _stabbing him with an AIDS infected needle.

And everyone lived, or died, not-so-happily ever after.

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A/N: Was that the worst ending to a fan fiction you ever read in your life or what? Anyways, I just wanted to thank all my amazing reviewers, Rent Serenity, for always reviewing and being amazing, Crick118 for giving me quotes and making me crack up, my friends Christina, Emily, Genny, and Nicole for 1) actually reading this fic and 2) giving me ideas (cough Nicole cough) and editing (cough Emily cough).

Are you sad that this fic has come to an end? I am…but. FEAR NOT! I have two possible harryxdraco humor stories currently residing in my head, and I plan to write them out. There is a small chance that I won't like them, and if that happens, I'll probably do a sequel to The Same old Story with a Twist (I might just do one anyway for the heck of it). Good News is, Marching Band is done (tear) so I have plenty of time to write! And possibly will be updating more frequently once I get these stories on a roll.

(I did fix most grammatical errors on my first two chapters, cause...they made me unhappy, so if you got alerts about that stuff, I don't know if you would...that's what it's about)

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE….REVIEW!! IT'S MY LAST TIME TO GET REVIEWS FOR THIS STORY!

It's been fun, I love you all, PEACE OUT.


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